Yop Team Review
Hey guys it’s ya boy, the guy from the Yop commercial, coming at you with a Yop™ team review. My bosses over at Yoplait® HQ have been hard at work trying to market Yop™ to a new generation of sleepy kids and teenagers. It’s been a long time since my Yop™ drinking glory days, but I’m back again working with the marketing dept. This time, were going for a new angle, with LD2L based viral marketing. You shoulda seen the board meeting for that sales pitch!
If you’ve never heard of Yop (pronounced YAWP) you might be living under a rock. For the uninformed, Yop is a drinkable yogurt product made by Yoplait(pronounced YO-PLAY, very confusing).
This is a triple entente review made by LD2L jackass Bibleman and known pants pisser King Pirate. Each of us will be reviewing 4 different flavours of Yop, all consumed within a frighteningly short time frame. With that said lets get started!
Strawberry YOP
The guy from the Yop commercial: 6/10
Artificial strawberry flavour in the foodstuff industry tends to be somewhat underwhelming. I’m loathe to say that Strawberry Yop is no different in that regard. The base yogourt flavour is decent, however the strawberry flavour is not very pronounced, and doesn’t add very much to the elixir. Strengthening the strawberry flavour would improve it, however it still wouldn’t be peak Yop.
Bibleman: 7/10
Going in before I had any of them I guessed strawberry would be the best one, because it’s a simple flavor and you can’t really mess it up. This is true and it definitely wasn’t bad, but I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy while drinking it. Before tasting I took a big ol’ whiff of it and my only thought was “this is strawberry yoghourt”. If strawberry Yop was a character in the Bible it would definitely be the shepherds at Jesus’ birth, as it’s there, it’s alright, but no Three wise men if you catch my drift.
King Pirate: 7/10
“Yup that's strawberry yogurt”
Raspberry YOP
The guy from the Yop commercial: 8/10
A modest upgrade on strawberry. The flavour is much stronger and more pleasant. The smell is very inviting, and adds to the experience. All built on top of classic Yop drinkable yogourt technology.
Bibleman: 7.5/10
My preliminary ranking for raspberry was second overall, for similar reasons to strawberry because you would have to be King Pirate levels of low IQ to mess it up. Again they managed to not mess it up but it was also again, incredibly mediocre. The raspberry smell was really strong which I liked, and for that reason raspberry slightly edges out strawberry. Biblical analogy here is pretty difficult as Strawberry and Raspberry are basically siblings in mediocrity, but I’d go with the younger son in The Parable of the Prodigal Son because he gets his inheritance earlier and is therefore more liked.
King Pirate: 7/10
“Yup that’s raspberry yogurt”
Blueberry YOP
The guy from the Yop commercial: 7/10
Reasonable, with the strongest flavour so far. However, I personally don’t enjoy blueberry flavour as much as raspberry. I’ll have to give a stern talking to the Yop™ Lab Boys, they really blew it on the flavour selection.
Bibleman: 8/10
Blueberry yoghourt, a real dark horse candidate. I projected blueberry to be last overall but I was very surprised with how good it was. The smell was much stronger than either raspberry or strawberry, which was a very poggers moment. Easily the best with nice strong flavors but a yoghourt based beverage can only be so good you know? Blueberry Yop is Moses. Started off underestimated, on a basket in a river but manages to be God’s chosen.
King Pirate: 8/10
“Yup that’s blueberry yogurt”
Strawberry-Banana YOP
The guy from the Yop commercial: 9/10
Shall I compare thee to a strawberry-banana Yop? This is without a doubt the best Yop has to offer. However, it is the most unlike any other Yop flavour. While most of the previous flavours are fairly traditional yogourt flavours and feel like they fit the medium, strawberry banana feels disconnected from drinkable yogourt. However this just makes me love it even more. The flavour is so distinct that it’s almost seperate from the base Yop recipe. It’s like drinking two Yops at once!. One drawback is that again the strawberry flavour is barely detectable, but the banana is very pronounced. That being said, this is a great concoction to have with breakfast, or on the go. The Yop™ Lab boys really nailed it with this one.
Bibleman: 4/10
Last and certainly least, Strawberry Banana Yop. Before tasting I was on the fence between putting blueberry last and strawberry banana last, and tbh famsquad I have no fucking clue why I didnt put it in last. First of all, it has zero odor. Greek yoghourt type beat if ya know what I’m saying. And that turned me off more than the time King Pirate teabagged me when we were getting a little crazy on the church wine. Next comes the taste, sorry for using the Lord’s name in vain but my God is that shit wretched. You can barely taste the strawberry, which might have redeemed it a bit if you could taste it, but you only get banana, and artificial banana is anti-pog as the kids say. This product is super Pepega. Strawberry Banana Yop is unquestionably Judas, because I 100% believe this yoghourt based beverage legitimately tried to kill me.
King Pirate: 7/10
I’m lactose intolerant.
Conclusion
You can buy Yop at your local grocery store or supermarket. You can find it in the dairy aisle! Also check out Yoplait® Yogourt Tubes™!